Uncompromising Truth and Uncommon Tenderness: 1 Thess Lesson 15

Uncompromising Truth and Uncommon Tenderness

1 Thessalonians 2:6b-8

 After a week break from 1 Thessalonians for a message focusing on the great truth of the Incarnation, I would like to invite you back to this important letter this morning. As we begin I will ask you to stand with me as we read the first 12 verses of Chapter 2. 

 These twelve verses give us a picture of loving spiritual leadership. They give us some great insight into the relationship between the Apostle Paul and this good church. We learned from Chapter 1 about the church and the work of God that made it a good church. Chapter 2 describes for us the qualities of good spiritual leadership. It has often been said that no church will rise above the quality of its leaders. I think there is some element of truth to that. Certainly, the leadership of the Apostle Paul had a lot to do with the outcomes produced at Thessalonica.

 By way of review, I would remind you that the first thing we see in the first part of Chapter 2 is Paul’s courage. He faced unrelenting opposition to his ministry. He endured great hardship. He suffered and was mistreated at every turn. Yet, he did not let any of that deter him from his commitment to preaching the gospel of God. He saw the results. He knew his coming to them was not in vain. He courageously endured every hardship to continue to preach the word of God. This is an undeniable evidence of just how firm a man’s convictions are regarding the truth he preaches. If we do not believe the truth of God’s word enough to declare it even in the face of death, we don’t really believe its truth. Almost all of the Apostles of Jesus died the death of a martyr. How much more evidence do we need than that to know that they truly believed the message?

 The second quality we saw was an uncompromising commitment to the truth of God’s word. Paul’s ministry was not only marked by courage, but also by a conviction that the word of God was to be uncompromised by error or impurity or deceit. Paul held this conviction because he knew he was accountable to God who had entrusted him with the gospel. Because of his commitment to accuracy, and his understanding of his accountability to God, Paul was always careful with his approach, or his methods. He never sought to preach a message aimed at pleasing men. He did not worry about flattering speech. He was not motivated by greed. He did not concern himself with glory from men.

 This review takes us through the middle of verse 6. This is where we stopped last time we were here. Today I am going to pick up where we left off in the middle of verse 6 and we will look at the truth down through verse 8 today. It is at this point we find a definite shift in Paul’s focus. Up to this point we have seen Paul’s uncompromising commitment to truth. Paul was courageous enough to preach the truth no matter what happened. Paul was uncompromising in his conviction that the truth was to be preached accurately because he was accountable to God for the message. He was unconcerned with what people thought of his message so he never compromised his methods to please men.

 From the middle of verse 6, all the way through to the end of chapter 3, there is a shift in focus. The new focus is on Paul’s attitude and approach to the people. Up to this point we might conclude that Paul didn’t really care about the people. He was only concerned with the truth. But the next 27 verses focus on the Thessalonians and his concern for them, his love for them, his devotion to their spiritual well-being, and his desire to be with them.

Paul could very easily have gone immediately from the middle of verse 6 and started chapter 4. Look over at chapter 4. Chapter 4 resumes with instruction and exhortation. But from the middle of verse 6 through the end of Chapter 3 is this lengthy description of Paul’s dealings with them and his devotion to their spiritual well-being. 

 Everything we will be looking at for the next many weeks as we study this treasure of truth will be looking at the devotion of the spiritual leader not just to the truth of God’s word, but to the people to whom he preaches the truth of God’s word. We will see how Paul strikes a necessary balance. We see Paul’s own commitment to this balanced approach to ministry. Paul’s life and ministry is marked definitively by an uncompromising commitment to truth, and an uncommon tenderness toward those to whom he preached that truth. I have entitled this message “uncompromising truth and uncommon tenderness.” It is powerfully proclaimed in verses 6b-8, but it is the theme of this letter all the way through the end of Chapter 3.

 This is a reminder to me that spiritual leaders are not just in the preaching business, we are also in the people business. We must always remember, and this is what Paul reminds me of here, that the people to whom we preach are every bit as important as the preaching of the word. We must preach the word with conviction and we must deal with the people with compassion. It is true that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

 If a spiritual leader is solely focused on conviction regarding the truth and has no compassion toward the people, he will sacrifice people on the altar of truth. His dogmatism will drive people to despair. If he pretends to have it all together, and tries to present himself as something special, and high and mighty and above the sins for which he condemns everyone else, he is a hypocrite of the worst order. There is only one place I have to look to be reminded of how foolish and frail fallen men are. And that is to my own heart. I have to confess with Paul that I am the chief of sinners. This is why Paul instructed Timothy to “preach the word, be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.” (2 Tim. 4:2)

 There must be a balance between conviction and compassion. If we have too much compassion we may not be willing to confront the sin. Sin always leads down a path of destruction. We do not love those whom we will not confront with the truth of God’s word. A compassion filled approach that lacks conviction fails to convert. It is the truth that sets people free. So we must have an uncompromising conviction regarding the truth and it must be appropriately balanced with compassion for the people to whom we preach the truth.

 I want to be perfectly clear on something. Compassion for people does not mean that we ignore or accept behavior that is specifically called sinful by God. As we work our way through the rest of chapter 2 and all of chapter 3 we are going to find the Apostle Paul to be the most caring, concerned, compassionate man we have ever met. No one, aside from Christ Himself, was more committed to the spiritual well-being of the people in his life. Yet, we will never, anywhere in anything Paul writes, find him excusing or ignoring sinful behavior, especially among professing Christians. His harshest letters were written to the church most tolerant of sin. He strongly rebuked the Corinthians for ignoring the sin among its members.

 So compassion is not turning a blind eye, or casually accepting everyone right where they are and just loving them as they dishonor Christ and destroy the reputation and credibility of the church. This is especially true regarding those who call themselves Christians. We expect unbelievers to act like unbelievers. We are to expect Christians to act like Christians. Whether we are dealing with Christians or non-Christians, we must carefully consider what it takes to strike the proper balance between an uncompromising conviction in the truth and an uncommon compassion toward those to whom we preach the truth.

 There are three important elements described by Paul for us in verses 6b-8. These are all vital aspects of striking the right balance between conviction and compassion. In these verses we are going to see that as Paul struck the right balance between truth and tenderness he was gracious, gentle, and genuine. Let me show you where these elements are indicated in our text. Paul’s graciousness is indicated in the last part of verse 6 where he says, “even though as apostles we might have asserted our authority.” Paul’s gentleness is found in verse 7 where he writes, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her children.” Paul’s genuineness is found in verse 8 where he says, “Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become so dear to us.”

 Let’s look a little closer at these points. We begin with gracious. Clearly Paul is indicating a degree of graciousness exercised toward the Thessalonians in the last part of verse 6. The rest of the verse indicates that there was a degree of glory, or honor, that was rightfully associated with Paul’s official position as an apostle of Jesus Christ. He writes, “even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority.” 

In other places Paul notes that it was his right to expect financial support for the ministry. It was within his rights to expect respect and honor because of the work he carried out as an apostle of the Lord. There was an honor due based on the authority of the position. You can go read 1 Cor. 9 and see how Paul defines and defends the honor he was due because of his calling as an apostle.

 An apostle’s greatest authority was as a spokesman for God. Paul recognized that an apostle of Jesus Christ he was speaking the word of God to the church. This is made clear by what Paul says in verse 13. Paul commended the Thessalonians for receiving the word of God from Paul, not as the word of men, but for what it really is, the word of God. Paul knew he was speaking God’s word to the church.

 Paul could have exercised his authority as an apostle to demand that every word he taught be obeyed without question, immediately, and without any discrepancy at all. He could have demanded absolute compliance. He could have strongly rebuked everyone guilty of any false step. He could have used a strong handed approach that allowed for no room for error.

 It might be easy for the spiritual leader to decide that a strong handed approach is appropriate. After all, we are teaching the word of God. God expects obedience. God spells out His righteous requirements and He tells us that missing the mark of those requirements is sin and that the wages of sin is death. He tells us that the soul that sins will die. And if we are not careful we can forget that when God revealed Himself to Moses He revealed Himself as the God who is, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgressions and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished…” (Exodus 34:6-7) 

 We should remember what Psalm 103:8-14 tells us. “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”

 The starting place for a spiritual leader who seeks to strike the right balance between truth and tenderness is graciousness. We must be gracious with others because God has been gracious to us. This does not mean we turn a blind eye to sin. It means that we are gracious and merciful and loving and patient toward those who are struggling with weakness and fleshly struggles.

 When a profession Christian falls into sin, we help them up. We follow the instructions of Galatians 6:1 that tell us, “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.” We deal with those who struggle with graciousness.

 We must realize that there is a time for a hand and there will also be times for the hammer. Matthew 18 tells us what to do when a brother walks into sin from which they will not repent. Discipline is in order. Exercising church discipline is not an ungracious action. It is designed to bring the sinning brother to repentance and restoration to the fold.

 Great discernment is needed to determine when to use authority and when to be gracious. Paul said in verse 6, “we might have asserted our authority.” It was within his right to do so, but his discernment led him to be gracious.

 I would remind you that last week when we looked at John 1 for our Christmas message we read that, “the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.” It is obvious that Jesus knew exactly where the balance existed between truth and grace. He was the perfect revelation of both. When He dealt with sinners He was gracious to forgive and committed to truth as He called them to repentance. To the woman caught in adultery He said, “Neither do I condemn you.” Then He said, “Go and sin no more.” (John 8:11)

 If we are to strike the right balance between conviction and compassion we must extend grace. We must also be gentle. Look at verse 7. “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.” The word “gentle” describes an approach that is mild, kind, and placid. It is the opposite of quarrelsome or striving.

 Listen to the words of 2 Tim. 2:24-26. “The Lord’s bondservant (slave) must not be quarrelsome, but be kind (same Greek word translated gentle in our text) to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.” 

 Paul described his approach to the Thessalonians as that of a nursing mother tenderly caring for her own children. The word translated “tenderly cares” is “thalpo.” The verb form means “to make warm.” The word means to cherish and nourish. It was used by Paul in Ephesians 5:29 to describe the way a husband is to love his wife as he does his own body which he naturally nourishes and cherishes, just as Christ also does the church.

 Could Paul have come up with a better illustration of gentleness than that of a mother caring for a nursing child? There are other appropriate and correct metaphors that illustrate the duties of a spiritual leader. He is a steward. He is a slave. He is a soldier. He is a shepherd. A steward does what he does because of his devotion to the One who has entrusted him with the responsibility. A slave does his duty because he wants to please his master. A soldier does his duty because he knows he fights for a cause. A shepherd does his duty because he understands how vulnerable the sheep are and how dependant they are on him.

 A mother’s only motivation is her bond of love with her child. Family trumps all other metaphors. Paul used the family metaphor in other places. In 1 Cor. 4:14-16, “I do not write these things to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For if you were to have countless tutors in Christ, yet you would not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore, I exhort you, be imitators of me.” In Gal. 4:19 Paul writes, “My children, with whom I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you.”

 Notice in our text that Paul says that he proved gentle among them, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for “her own children.” Paul did not see himself as a paid caregiver who was responsible for someone else’s children. He saw them as his own children in the faith. He cared for them with the gentleness of a nursing mother. Listen, no one wants anything better for a child than that child’s own mother.

 There is no way to strike the right balance between truth and tenderness without a heavy dose of gentleness. No one likes having the truth shoved down their throat. Striking the right balance of truth and tenderness requires the spiritual leader to extend grace. It also requires the spiritual leader to be gentle. There is one more important aspect. The spiritual leader must be genuine. Verse 8 describes Paul’s genuine life and his genuine love.

The spiritual leader’s life must be genuine. People must be able to see that the truth we claim to believe, the truth we proclaim and call others to believe, must be a truth that has done in us what we tell others it will do for them.

 “Do as I say and not as I do,” does not work with a spiritual leader. Nothing denies the validity of the truth of the gospel quite like hypocrisy in the life of one who says they believe the gospel. Paul says, “we were well-pleased.” This is a strong word in the Greek. Paul is saying, “This was the right thing for us to do. This was a good thing we were doing. This is what was best for you.” The word describes a good intention as well as a resolve to do what is right.

 Paul, and Silas, and Timothy, were well-pleased to impart, share openly, share with purpose, share with a design to accomplish something. What were they sharing or imparting? They were sharing “our own lives” Paul says. The Greek word is “psuche.” It is most often translated soul. This speaks of the spiritual and immortal part of man with his rational and natural faculties. If I only let you see my life, you see my activities. If I let you see my soul, I let you see me for who I really am. 

 If I show you a picture of someone you know what they look like but you have no idea what they are truly like. If I share my own life with you, you get to know who I really am. You get to know if the truth I share is real in my own life.

 Paul and his companions shared freely, not only the gospel of God, that which brings the message of salvation, but also the personal evidence which existed in them that this gospel of God truly had the power to do what it claimed to do. It has the power to save, the power to sanctify, the power to transform, the power to bring us to glory.

 Paul did not just preach a message, he demonstrated with his life that the message was valid. He let those to whom he preached the gospel see that the gospel is the power of God for salvation to those who believe. Paul freely shared and imparted his life because his life was genuine.

 And it was glaringly obvious that not only was Paul’s life genuine, so was his love. What is obvious from these verses is that there is a powerful motive behind Paul’s grace, gentleness, and genuineness. That motive is love. He said he imparted his life because he had so fond an affection for them. He did this because the Thessalonians had become very dear to Paul and his companions. He compared his love to that of a mother.

 A spiritual leader is not a spiritual leader unless he truly loves those he leads. Too many pastors and spiritual leaders are like day care workers. Day care facilities came into existence when moms decided that their place was in the workforce rather than at home. I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty if they ever left a child at a day care facility before. But let’s be honest. A day care worker does not care for a child like a mother. A mother cares for her child because she cares about her child. A day care worker takes care of a child because they are paid to do so. Some of them may care a little more than others, but none of them cares for the child like the mother of that child.

 As a spiritual leader I want to strike the right balance between conviction and compassion, between preaching truth and practicing tenderness. I need to be gracious in the use of spiritual authority. I need to be gentle when providing spiritual care. I must be genuine in the way I live as an example and in the way I love this fellowship of believers.

 As we move into the next verses we are going to see another picture. It is that of a father instructing his own children. It is a different picture. We are going to see that dad’s duties are different from mom’s. It takes both to raise a family. We won’t have the full picture of what the right balance looks like until we see that side of picture. 

 I love the fact that Paul is using the family analogies and applying them to his relationship with the church. It reminds us that we are family. So I want to challenge you. Are you connected to this family? Are you a real brother and sister to others in this church, or are you trying to be more like a distant cousin who only comes to visit once in a while? 

 Let’s pray.